Dani Bogatie Blog
I have always thought that loving another person meant becoming oblivious to their flaws.
I am a perfectionist at times, and I've subconsciously applied this nature toward my belief of what love should be. I perceived loving another person to mean seeing perfection in someone. No matter how hard I try I cannot fail to judge, to see people's worst qualities amidst their beauty. And this is why I am scared of love, because I am threatened by it. I cannot imaging looking so far past a person's flaws that I can no longer see them. To me, this is ignorance. This is naive. I am scared of being ignorant or naive, of becoming less aware, vulnerable. I am scared of lots of things. Tonight I realised that loving another person doesn't have to be perfect. To love someone you don't have to only see the good, you simply have to accept the bad. I don't need to fear love, I already experience it daily. In my world, loving my friends is getting to spend hours curling their hair and doing their makeup. Being loved is hearing that I am valuable, or being shown in someone's quiet, broken way. We all tolerate each other, and on some level I believe we all love each other. The world will never stop judging. I will never stop judging. But beneath that is acceptance. And acceptance is love. Love is not ignorant, nor blind. Love is everywhere.
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There is an unexplainable amount of freedom that comes with dressing the way you want to. Can I just take a moment to tell you right now what I wish someone had told me a few years ago?
You do not have to wear short shorts in summer if you hate the way they make your legs look. You don't have to avoid sitting down all day because your thighs will look fat. You do not have to wear that tight, two-piece Kookai dress to the party if you're gonna spend the whole night worrying about the way it hugs your figure and shows your arms. You do not have to wear a bikini to the beach it means you'll skip eating the whole day so your stomach looks okay. Don't waste you're time dressing like 'everyone else' and worrying about whether you could ever look as good as them, because let me tell you, it does not matter. Be the girl in the flowy, patterned dress at the party. Wear that cute one-piece, or those high-waisted bikini bottoms to the beach, even if none of your friends are. I guarantee you that the day you decide to start dressing for yourself and wearing clothes because you like them, not because some Instagram trend told you they were cool, you will experience pure freedom. The parties will be more fun, because you'll be able to dance in your vintage jeans and not worry about how your body looks. You'll want to actually swim at the beach, and sit down and eat fish and chips with your friends. Wear that ugly, floral shirt. Wear a men's T as a dress. If you love short shorts, please wear them. If you feel confident in that tight dress then wear it! If you think Doc Martens are ugly, over-priced school shoes then please don't buy them anyway so you can pretend to be 'alternative.' Be honest and genuine in the way you dress, use clothes as a medium to express your individuality. The way you dress is your art, have fun with it. Developing your own style is important and empowering and originality brings blissful freedom. I am grateful to the girl who showed up at a house party wearing a long skirt and a scrunchie. I hope I can inspire young girls to break away from 'normal'. |